Can I PLEASE Get Just a Touch of Compassion??

Ephesians 3:12 “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts…” (ESV)

Have you been or seen “That Mom?”

You know, the Mom in public with a war zone on wheels? The one begging (like I was that fateful day) “Can I please just get a little compassion over here? Just a “touch?” …not even a lot?”

Shrieks of arguing and complaining boomed from my cart as I trudged through Walmart trying to check off my seven item shopping list.

Seven items.

All I wanted to do was quickly grab them and go.
Instead, I was in the throws of battle. The sounds of my three sweet blessings from God blasted in the ears of fellow shoppers.

Every second held a land mine of conflict. Suddenly, little brother reaches over and grabs a fist full of big sister’s hair—again—unleashing the Gatling gun of whining.

I just wanted to take cover as people shot dirty looks my way that screamed “Lady, get your kids under control!”

But the medic was on the scene in the distance…

There was one pair of smiling, sympathetic eyes that looked my way. All at once, my wounds were bound up with one single “knowing” look that whispered, “I’ve been there. You will make it through.”

The touch of compassion I needed so much came at just the right time.

Two Sides of Grace

As I think of that time in the grocery store…all the ugliness hurdled my way…it reminds me that I am not immune to doing the same thing to someone else. And I wish we humans were more empathetic to the condition we ALL suffer from A.K.A humanity, but alas; I cannot say that is a reality.

Grace and compassion don’t come freely or naturally to us.

Instead, we are often met with the wicked counterpart of grace—

Cruelty.

The cruel, unrelenting critic never offers a kind word—especially when there is one in need. No. Instead, this person tells us in no uncertain terms how and why we failed.

The cruel person offers comments that start with words like, “You should’ve…” or “Why didn’t you?”

Aren’t we glad that Jesus doesn’t say that to us? I am—so glad. Instead of cruelty or even just condemnation, He gave us the greatest “touch of compassion” ever known to man.

And if we are recipients of such great love and compassion, where can cruelty possibly abide?

Bind Don’t Break

Cruelty will ALWAYS break hearts—even if it is a little dirty look at the grocery store, or fussing at the waitress because she messed up the order, or… (fill in your “pet peeve” here)

But if we are in Christ, this shouldn’t be who we are.

Check out this passage:

Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Christ followers have been given the ministry of reconciliation. We as “chosen ones of God” are to emulate Christ’s character to those around us. WE are the image of Christ here on earth.

God in Christ forgave so great a debt that could never have been paid at our own expense. We are lowly recipients of a gracious and loving touch of compassion from our Heavenly Father.

He bound up our hearts when we were broken by sin. And He calls us to be heart binders, too. But if we are the ones doing the breaking, there is no room for binding.

Everybody needs a touch now and then. It could mean lending a helping hand, sharing a hug, or offering words of encouragement. We need to be mindful that we are called to be ministers of that touch of compassion in this cruel, cruel world.

Jesus gave a similar message to the twelve disciples:

“As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give”. (Matthew 5:7-8, ESV)

So as we freely received the ultimate touch from our Heavenly Father—He healed us when we were sick, dirty and dead with sin—we should freely give the same touch to those in need. (Even Mommies with cart loads of crazy kids at the store…)

Let’s be known as a people who share a touch of compassion with a lost and dying world.

Dukin’ it Out…on the Inside

So, what do you do when your own worst enemy is…well,

YOU?

It is so hard to come to the realization that we turn a blind eye to sin in our lives. Or maybe we bought into a script of lies. Sometimes the deception is quickly exposed, but other times it may take days, months or years to uncover.

I lived in denial and blindness for 18 years. I fought to justify myself at every turn.

Until God said “No more.”

I’m a Fighter, Not a Lover

The day I walked down the aisle with my husband, was the day I started becoming a distant, cold and callous wife. The first night as man and wife, I willfully put my name on the fight roster. Perhaps worst of all, I earned the heavy weight title of “Frigid Wife.”

Up until recently I have been fighting tooth and nail against being a “lover” of my husband in “the biblical sense.”

Though I didn’t consciously devise this plan, I fought with all I had to BLOCK ANYTHING that could lead to sex.

And I got really good at “blocking.”

• I didn’t give many hugs for fear that physical contact of any kind might “start something.”

• I didn’t undress in the same room, because if he saw me without my clothes on that might “start something.”

• I didn’t season my speech with kindness, because if I was too nice he might think I was flirting and…you guessed it…that might “start something.”

I was going way too far to keep from going to the bedroom. I was destroying my marriage and my husband by shunning all expressions of love out of fear that they might lead to sex.

But worst of all? I was completely disobeying God.

Total Knock Out

Thanks to the grace of God, I recently had a T.K.O. moment on this whole “Frigid Wife” thing.

God “knocked” some sense into me. He showed me that my struggle with sex would not just disappear (like I hoped it would), nor would it be magically be “all better” even if I pretended there wasn’t a problem.

God worked through my husband (yes ladies, He CAN do that) to speak truth to me.

My husband asked me over and over again if I had really given myself fully to healing, and turning from the unbiblical mindset I had developed about sex.

Answer:

NO. I hadn’t.

I didn’t know if I could handle doing what it took to heal—or if I really wanted to heal. Because in that healing I would have to be exposed—in more ways than one.

Put Up Your His Dukes

After a stressful night with a half-hearted bedroom effort that was a major FAIL, I sat down and let myself be real with God and me.

Even though God revealed my sin in the past, this time, I allowed myself to look. God showed me the many towering walls I built in order to give myself permission to “defraud” my husband.

I was not fulfilling my role as a wife, plain and simple. I had broken my marriage vows time and time again.

1 Corinthians 7:4-5 says this:

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (ESV)

God set the marriage relationship up to be a mutual yielding of our bodies to one another. He made the marriage union out of love and protection for His children.

God wanted us to know the unique “one flesh” union that we might know Him and enjoy Him in a deeper way through the act of sex.

He also knew that in our weakness we could become slaves to our passions. He provided marriage as a safe and permissible bond to protect us from falling into sin. As the Spirit opened up these beautiful thoughts I had never noticed before, I was moved away from my vehement hatred for sex.

BUT…

The thought of not having “authority” over my own body still strikes fear in me. I know God has better in mind for me than living in fear of something He made to be wonderful.

In the past, I allowed my own desires—or lack thereof—to rule my actions. That’s one of the many excuses I gave myself so I could ignore sex.

But reading these verses and seeing God’s desires—His plan—changed my point of view. He was fighting for me through the power and message of the word of truth.

And so today, I stand before you a woman with a new mission. No more fighting for myself in this area. My fight only kept me bound to fear and lies.

Instead I am heading straight for God’s word, and I’m “Puttin’ up HIS dukes” so to speak. As He reveals truth to me by His Spirit, He fights for me.

Through the truth, His love and strength equip me to glorify Him in our marriage… And totally “knock out” my arch enemy—A.K.A. me.

Linking Up with these lovelies:

Kelly at http://purposefulfaith.com/

Suzanne Eller #LiveFree Thursday Prompt: Put Up Your Dukes!

Jennifer Dukes Lee at http://jenniferdukeslee.com/

Susan B Mead #DanceWithJesus  http://www.susanbmead.com/life-fragile-people-matter-video/

Photo Credit: Creation SWap, Field, Charise Orozco

4 Reasons Fifty Shades of Grey Will Not Spice Up Your Sex Life

Fifty Shades of Grey is a box office hit before it even hit the box office for Valentine’s Day.

I can’t say that I’m surprised that over 100,000 million (give or take) are interested in this trashy erotica. But the part that blows me away is that even Christians are getting into it. And it disturbs me thinking that my brothers and sisters are lining up in droves see this “soft” porn movie all in the name of spicing up their sex lives.

Okay, I’ll confess—yes, my pillow talk could use a little boost. But, friend, this is NOT the way for you, me or for anyone to go about it. What’s being propagated here is, well, sick. Sin sick. Plain and simple.

Filthy Shades of Grey 

So what’s the big deal about Fifty Shades of Grey anyway? Let me fill you in.

The plot is, basically, a tawdry sexual relationship between an unmarried couple, which should send up a red flag right away. The sex saga between main characters Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey gets confusing and just plain gross. (And the fact that his name is Christian really makes me cringe.) They hook up, but only on his terms, and, oh yeah, he’s into BDSM—bondage, dominance/submission, sadism and masochism.

The BDSM of Fifty Shades of Grey is a completely unbiblical, warped manifestation of sexual interaction. This version of sex stirs our rebellious flesh by causing us to dwell and act on fantasies that are dishonoring to both people and to God. And here’s the tricky part—it may actually add the zing you think you want to your marriage. But it isn’t the zing God desires for us. God has better in mind for this sacred union.

So, here are four reasons (out of a million) why Fifty Shades of Grey will NOT add to what God intended for your marriage bed…

Want to see the rest?

Pop over to Shattered Magazine where you can see the rest of 4 Reasons Fifty Shades of Grey Will Not Spice Up Your Sex Life!

Photo Credit: Creation Swap, Behind Closed Doors, Matt Grueber

Linking Up with these lovelies:

Testimony Tuesday with Holly

#RaRaLinkup with Kelly http://purposefulfaith.com/

Woman 2 Woman with Meredith

Three Word Wednesday with Kristin http://www.kristinhilltaylor.com/

#TellHisStory with Jennifer Dukes Lee http://jenniferdukeslee.com/

#LiveFreeThurdsay with Suzanne Eller, http://tsuzanneeller.com/

Coffee for Your Heart with Holly

http://arabahjoy.com/ — Grace and Truth

#DancewithJesusLinkup, http://www.susanbmead.com/blog-2/

Fellowship Fridays, http://equippinggodlywomen.com/fellowship-friday/featuring-faith-love-chocolate/

You Are a Part of Something BIG

Let me say that again…

You (yes, YOU) are a part of something BIG—much bigger than yourself, in fact.

But in this rat-race called life, we often don’t see that “big picture.” Too often we are blinded by our own humanity. It groans within us for that “pie in the sky” pursuit of success as dictated by the culture we are submerged in.

And what defines success in our culture?

A good paying job with a fat paycheck.

A nice family and nice stuff.

200,000 Twitter, Facebook and Google Plus followers.

A large church with lots of programs.

A blog with lots of subscribers.

A voice to write best-selling books and to speak at packed-out amphitheaters.

And in all of these-the bigger it is, the better it is.

You can almost hear the “Bigger is better” mantra humming from the dark corners of our society.

But honestly, it really does make sense. To be seen, everything has to be big—HUGE even, because there are just so many of us trying to be seen and heard.

But here’s the thing—whether we know it or not, we all are seen and heard already.

All the time…

And what or Who is big enough to see everyone, everywhere, ALL the time?

GOD is.

He not only sees us, but more importantly, He has a plan and purpose for us. Colossians 1:16-19 says this:

“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. ¹⁷ And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. ¹⁸ And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.” ESV

Go back and read that again. Drink it in…

Everything that was made (that’s you and me, too) was made through and for Him.

That means we are a part of something bigger—something that we never even asked to be a part of. Something planned before the foundation of the world. We were designed and made by our awesome creator for His Master Plan.

And He has a goal for those plans.

He wants to be the famous One in our lives. Not because He wants to be “Bigger and Better”—to achieve greatness in this life, like we often desire.

No.

It’s because He already IS the famous One. All you have to do is look around. The sky, the sun and moon, animals, and people… There is nothing created  that His hand has not touched.

He has proven His worth over and over again with each turn of the earth to face a new day.

And the most mind-blowing part is that He loves us enough to invite us to know this truth and to be a part of it.

A Plan So Far and Beyond this Planet

-CONFESSION ALERT-

I get caught up in the plans that I make while I’m on this planet. They tend to bog me down as soon as I forget THE reason I am here to begin with. (i.e. I’m here for God, not myself…)

But what if I looked at my life differently?

What if I saw everything in light of the something BIG that God placed me in, and what if I worked to that end?

¹³ He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins…

And because of this,

²⁸ Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. (Colossians 1:13-14, 28) ESV

We are sinful people.

And we need deliverance.

We have a natural bent to pursue only what makes us happy in life—our wish to be “bigger and better” than everyone else is proof positive of this fact. We attempt to do life while denying all claim, control and character of God Almighty.

Once we understand our need before God, we can begin grasp the magnitude of His gift of deliverance from our sinful state. And once we “taste and see” that the Lord truly is good, we will see the value of being forgiven by Him. We will understand the value of being “transferred into His kingdom” by the precious blood of Christ!

Then, we can fulfill our role in this BIG thing God started and invited us into. In fact, it will be BURSTING out of us!

We will have an insatiable desire to be a proclaimer of God’s mercies—warning and teaching people about His claim on us, His control of all things, and His Wonderful character! That is a BIG deal!

So Look Around

Look at the grace we have been given in Christ. Look at the mission that God has placed before us as His people.

That is a big job. And no one person can do it alone.

Now let’s get the lead out, and get going!

Let’s decide to get those stars out of our eyes and instead, let’s fix our eyes on the One who made the stars.

Participating in linkups with these lovelies!

Photo Credit: Creation Swap, God of the Universe, Luis Garcia

(Prompt: Leave It Behind as a part of Suzanne Eller’s #livefree Thursday linkup)

And Linking up Friday with Grace and Truth Today

Blotting Out Control

Isaiah 43:25 “I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”

Well, you can definitely say I have a thing or two, or a MILLION that need “blotting out” of my life. It’s frustrating to tackle each little something that is wrong with us. Ultimately those “little things” are just symptoms crying aloud from a bigger something.

My bigger something?

I want to be in control.

I like to be in the driver’s seat. And if I am honest, I’m constantly living like “Excuse me Jesus, mind if I take the wheel for a minute?”

I am in an eternal arm wrestling match with my ugly little-miss-I-gotta-control-everything-please-and-thank-you mentality.

Walk T’ Plank Ye Little Urchins

My control freakishness rears its ugly head the most in dealing with my little ones.

TRUTH: I am so ashamed of my eldest daughter’s first 4 years of life.

Excuse my French, but I micro-managed that poor little thing so much she could hardly fart without me crawling all over her. I went overboard trying to keep her out of trouble.

I was the “Soup-nazi” of mothering. I barked out orders as soon as Emily could cruise around the sides of furniture. And when she was completely mobile? Oh Lord, forgive me for the stress and agony I inflicted upon those around me.

I was more worried about her touching, breaking, climbing on or destroying stuff than the people who owned it.

Then one day, like a light switch, I finally started to see the impact my controlling behavior was having on onlookers.

It was a sobering picture.

I was pretty disgusted with who I had become…or who I already was. And my tool of sanctification named “child” was the means through which God graciously revealed it to me.

Two kids later, I’m a little better, but I still run a pretty tight ship. And I don’t mean that in a super-mom kind of way where everything ebbs and flows smoothly around the house. I mean it in the “crazy overbearing mom” way where “You best be obeying your mother,” or consider yourself shark bait.

Buy why? Why do I have such trouble letting them be themselves?

I’m worried they’ll do something, anything…EVERYTHING.

They might embarrass me, or inconvenience me or they will just plain irritate me.

KEYWORD: ME

It’s hard to come face to face with the ugliness of who we are. I have to accept that This. Is. The “Real ME.”

I feel like a failure of a mother and wife—and a person in general. How can I possibly reflect Christ if I am being controlled by my desires and not His?

Answer: I CAN’T.

Behaving like a selfish brat and forcing my hand to get everyone around me to conform to my will does harm not good, even if it results in me “getting what I want.” Instead, I should be submitting to God’s control and seeking to conform to HIS will.

Enter the extremist in me.

It can be tempting to take on a defeatist attitude, throw your hands up and say “Well, there’s no way I can fix this.” This is where I am so tempted to quit. So tempted.

But I have to take that thought captive. And replace it with TRUTH.

What about the fact that I have the source of all the power of God and Heaven living in me?? This is what I need to focus on.

Christ in me=All I need to escape the vice grip of being a control freak.

And I’m claimin’ it.

That Day I Decided to Leave the Control Freak in Me Behind

A declaration like this is a virtual invitation-no, more like a DARE for the attack to show up on your doorstep. It’s not because the fight got any worse, but instead, now you have eyes to see the battle. And it’s fierce out there.

Once I was willing to admit my sinfulness to God and agree with Him that I am a control freak, things started to change. I knew I needed help. I had to decide to put on His peace…

Peace that my children have to be children, but I need to train them in Godliness.

Peace that something might get broken, but no amount of barking will prevent it if that is what my sovereign Lord allows in order to teach me more about Him.

Peace that God ultimately controls everything, and I need to TRUST Him to do His job while I do mine (obey).

Peace that Jesus Christ has FORGIVEN all my past, present and future sins, and that God “blots out my sin” from the pages of His memory. And I should do the same.

Does this mean that I never fail anymore?

Nope.

Do I still ask Jesus to let me take the wheel? Well, let’s just say, I don’t always ask…

And sometimes I even find myself looking back.

But God is teaching me to press on—to walk in the freedom He so lavishly rained down on me. So, I step forward moment by moment seeking…

I’m waving the white flag in the face of the control I never owned, but fought so hard to hold on to. And I am learning to embrace the freedom of knowing I am eternally safe in the grip of God’s control.

And if HE can blot out my sin of control, then by the power invested in me (Christ),

So. Can. I.

Photo Credit: Creation Swap, Control Freak, John Purkey

Don’t Hit the “Easy Button”

Matthew 7:13-14

¹³ “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy^[a] that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. ¹⁴ For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

“That’s just the way I am.”

Have you ever heard this statement? Have you ever said this statement?

I’ve done both.

And I don’t know about you, but when I said it, it was meant as a justification—no, a license to continue in my sinful behaviors.

It was me giving myself permission to hit the “easy button.”

What is hitting the “easy button” for you?

When my kids don’t listen, instead of “teaching in kindness” I hit the proverbial easy button, and I blow up at them instead. Or maybe my hubby needs “alone time” with me, but instead of not “depriving him” as Corinthians says, I hit the easy button by rolling over and going to sleep.

God says “Go,” “Sacrifice,” or “Serve” and I hit the easy button by offering excuses why I don’t have to…

To see the rest, pop over to the Ask God Today Ministries “Way In” Challenge link below!

http://us5.campaign-archive1.com/?u=5f8d57fa200c4c6f68a13cb4c&id=2943a2e9b9

Like what you see? Get in on the rest of the challenge! And join the “Way In” Challenge Facebook group to chat about what you learned!

Photo Credit: Pile of Easy, http://askgodtoday.us5.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=5f8d57fa200c4c6f68a13cb4c&id=d59c9eef04&e=8c2c46a968

Also, Check this out on Kelly Balarie’s Purposeful Faith #RaraLinkup Day!